Culver City Observer -

Between You and Me


October 29, 2015

By Kimberly Berg


This may seem like a generic question but I am really curious…why is it after a nights rest I have been waking up so emotional lately? Its really bothering me. I am not usually like this, at least not this often.

-Feeling irrational

Dear irrational,

It’s our cultural that would label you “irrational” so I am going to ask you to be please gently remove that label from yourself, as you are obviously receiving a lot of information from your body. Sounds to me like a need to release. Pretty basic concept I am presenting here, yet, most of us do exactly as you're doing, which is label and dismiss the intelligence of your body and your emotions.

Sounds like you are used to being a powerful person, being in charge and taking things on without hesitation. My guess is your having a lot of changes occur and you haven’t given yourself the proper time needed to process all that’s happening in your life (this can be things you see as either good or bad). We tend to forget to allow gratitude into our systems. You may be feeling “emotional” upon waking because your unconscious has been stirring while you sleep and now its time to deal with it. I would encourage a 5-10 minute “meditation” of releasing what’s happening every morning. I say 5-10 so the rational mind can’t say, “I don’t have time”. You can rationalize 5-10 minutes, yeah? If you want to go longer, then respect your emotional intelligence enough to grant more time. Your wisdom reaches far beyond what a brain alone can produce.

Feel the “yes” in the release, feel the “yes" I am blessed, feel the “yes" I am scared. Feel the “yes” my life is beginning to bring in opportunities and more than that, feel the "yes" I am allowed to have nice things happen to me.

If you are sure there are some bigger issues coming up for you, then feel the “yes" I am allowed to feel, to grieve and to mourn all that I have no control over. You just need to give yourself time to feel my dear, its simple and yet, it can be deeply scary because we can't control or fully accept (at times) what were feeling and yet we try and try and try....

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." - Mark Twain

I thought I would submit on a topic that’s been coming up lately with clients and it’s the notion of “safety”.

Generally, what first comes to mind is financial stability, but this column won’t address that, as what so many of my clients (along with myself) have learned, is in fact, their safety isn’t connected to money nearly as much as they believed.

Contrarily, safety seems to equate to a feeling of being valued and that what we offer has merit, that we fit in with our peers, so in other words, to know that we what we contribute to the world matters and in exchange we will receive acceptance and understanding.

What I have been exploring with clients recently is the idea of what self-understanding entails and with that, what makes their hearts feel clear. I’ve noticed that often a feeling of safety is experienced alongside the ability to take care of oneself and that usually comes from a clear space within, meaning, being able to speak ones truth without being defensive. Taking actions that feel in alignment to self-care (eating well, exercise, the usual suspects), being honest about what’s important to you as an individual and most importantly, the willingness to take risks on your own behalf.

So while we can’t always guarantee that what we want, what we say or how we behave will always be seen as we intend, we can know that what we’ve offered to the world comes from a place of inner trust. As when the heart is motivated by fear, we often misrepresent ourselves unwittingly. I’ve come to believe that trust is what were after and its swaddle in the idea of safety.

From trust comes creative expression, acts of courage, leaps of faith and the ability to help others, because with trust, there comes a sense of knowing about a connection to something bigger than our need for safety. . There is a fuller purpose to our lives once trust and a feeling of inner safety have combined forces.

A clear heart enables us to transform our need for safety into actively understanding others without taking their actions or words personally. Curiosity can now lead rather than a need to feel safe. We can train ourselves to go beyond our myopic perceptions. . Once we realize that our needs will be met through the expression of care we put forth, safety is no longer the main concern as it’s replaced by the acceptance we’ve provided for others and thus a feeling of safety naturally arises.

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