Between You And I
June 4, 2015
(EDITOR'S NOTE) Kimberly Berg will write a weekly column for the Observer beginning today. She was born with the ability to read energy fields. She works as an intuitive coach while creating psychic fortunes for people all over the world on the side. Her work has been featured on American Idol, Entertainment Tonight, W Magazine, Angelino Modern Luxury and several radio programs both local and nationally.
Send your questions to Kimberly at these email addresses
By Kimberly Berg
My question pertains to my love life...
The past few years I have had relationships based on friendship and desire, not love. I thought it would be fine just having fun, but my heart wants more. I did have feelings for one person but he didn't reciprocate and he began a relationship with another woman. My intuition told me the truth about the situation but my feelings were still involved and it hurt deeply. Honestly, I am not willing to have a relationship outside my field of work-but it all seems an illusion. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated. -Gwyn
The reason it hurts is because you weren't honest with yourself from the start. To be honest requires bravery. You pretended to not have those feelings so that you could have a piece of him and you were settling for the easiest part to get.... and it's completely understandable.
Sometimes a part-time connection seems like it will be enough to quiet the stir inside. Sometimes we like to think that a temporary exchange will fill the void for deeper companionship. Do not beat yourself up for hoping that it would work out differently. Longing is what dreams are created from and without those urges we wouldn't be living a full life. It was brave of you to write in and be honest about how much you want more...good start!
Pain, as much as it can be so hard to cope with at times, allows us to garner the compassion needed in life to help others along in their suffering. We become less judgmental of others each time we live through a circumstance that's hurtful and we make the choice to be loving and understanding towards ourselves. On the other hand, if you judge yourself through this, you may judge others in similar situations. Since you know that what you crave (truth, depth and connection with a lover) is a universal desire you can understand why a woman would want to pretend something more is possible when it might not be. One needn't be self critical for wanting care; it's a human condition!
For future, I believe the reason you're placing limitations on where you will meet this person (your line of work) has more to do with wanting acceptance for your craft and that if you meet someone in same field he will be more understanding of you and your choices. Release that fear! The man you have in your life will value your choices because he will be an audience member who will seek you out. He will be moonstruck. He will desire you sexually, but his desire will extend to wanting to know all of you, not only certain parts of you.