By Neil Rubenstein
Oh, Maria, do you think I can qualify for a payday loan if I don’t have a job? Or perhaps for a reverse mortgage, the one Fonzie from Happy Days pushes on television 24 hours a day? Hmmm . . . Should I go to Wells Fargo and apply for a home equity loan?
I hope you know who still works there. No, I don’t need the money to travel to China and see the American jobs we lost; no, I don’t need a new car although a Tahoe would be nice, but why enrich the oil companies and the Arabs? I betcha there is a billion dollar reward for the first person who develops invisible ink which cannot be read by the super hush hush machines in the post offices, used to read our letters inside always sealed envelopes.
How to get the money? How to get the funds? Money, money, money!!! Yes, the mob is a possibility. Sell the formula to both the Republican and Democratic National Party – that’s another thought. Those NSA people are tough but we’re tougher. Call the Moscow operator for John Snowden’s telephone number – we are going to make this happen and the sooner the better.
By gosh, a plan was hatched . . . I’ll enroll at Cal State Long Beach and get student loans. As so many naïve kids have found out, “free” money is not anything but “very expensive” money. Just recently our fellow citizens owed $1.2 trillion in student loans with the average loan being $27,547. Many of us see nothing but economic pain for most families – I hope we are wrong.
On March 29, 1779 Congress passed legislation freeing slaves who served in the Continental Army after the War for Independence from South Carolina and Georgia.
Ever since I read about the cold remedies in France and Portugal, my body has had that icky rundown feeling. In Paris, it’s a hot toddy made with water, spiced rum, honey and juice of half a lemon, stirred with a cinnamon stick. In Lisbon, it’s brandy sweetened with honey, usually served at room temperature. Toss the NyQuil; I’m ready for the European thing. Viva la cold!
Popping two low dose (81 mg) aspirin a day can drop heart attack risk by 26% in women over 65.
I just found an article in the folder labeled Local Treasures that mentioned the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library on Adams between Arlington and Western. No, I never heard of it, but since they have over 110,000 rare books and a large archive of manuscripts, I’ll be there next week.
On March 30, 2006 Culver City became the second city in the State of California to pass an ordinance to allow those veterans issued an automobile license plate indicating they received the Medal of Honor, a Pearl Harbor survivor, a Purple Heart or the Legion of Valor to have free parking at the curbside meters. A big thanks to Mayor Vera and Council Members Steve Rose, Carol Gross, Gary Silbiger and Alan Corlin as well as the veteran organizations which participated.
It seems unbelievable but true, the war in Syria just entered its fourth year.
I bet you were smiling when you heard on the 6 p.m. televised news that Southern California Edison will give rate payers $1.4 billion in refunds. No, I don’t know how much each of us will get but don’t spend it because in a bill I recently received I see Edison wants to raise the residential standard electric rate plan (Schedule D), currently 94 cents per month, to $5 per month in 2015, to $7.50 per month in 2016, and $10 per month in 2017.
Will someone please ask the ladies and children to leave the room so I can really tell you what I think about this and all the other taxing authorities who want to raise or who have already raised our taxes?
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